Ally x with love x (allyxwithlove) wrote,
Ally x with love x

Winter Blues

I don't know why but I swear every winter when it starts to get cold I get the urge to dye my hair a chocolatey brown.. I have regretted it b4 coz I reckon dark hair makes me look too pale..

I finally have come to terms with my body. Wen I look in the mirror I see a very big girl, holding alot of fat on her body, loosing my curves.. So for months now I haven't bought myself clothes, I don't walk into clothes stores n I only go into the kids section in major department stores. Everyday I'd put on a pair of black tights n a loose shirt. Matt finally tried to tell me how plain I looked in the nicest way. So I asked my mum n she said almost the same thing. I cover up coz I hate my body. Mum tried to tell me thatbim not much bigger now then wat I was before maddie it's only coz of my tummy being loose. She n Matt told me to go clothes shopping n find my size instead of still just wishing n hoping that 1 day I'll wake up be a 12 again. So I nervously went into some stores. Grabbed a few things ( with mums voice in my head saying "there's nothing wrong with trying on different sizes". )
So I first tried on a pair of skinny leg jeans size 14. They did up perfectly, I pulled my top Dow and they looked great, there was no "muffin" hanging over the jeans. They felt great too but not tight wat so ever, so I got them then went n tried on some accessories , jackets, tops with colors and designs n I came home with the biggest smile on my face. I'm ONE size up in jeans. I'm in-between 12 & 14 in tips and gone up a cup size in bra's . But y do I still c such a massive girl in the mirror, I don't snack anymore, I ride everyday.. I have energy but still my sex life n night life r slowly headed towards the drain.
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